How it starts

In the middle of January we got an update from our Japan adoption agency. The letter basically said, the wait has gone from "very long" to unknown/indefinite. I think it was rather disappointing reading it. Even though I knew it was going to be a long wait. I still had hope it would happen, eventually.

Knowing that Japan isn't going to happen has given me time to really think about our children and if we really are "done." 

I just have a feeling that there is suppose to be one more. No matter how I try to prepare myself mentally to be "done" and be content with 3 children, this feeling keeps bubbling up. I will look at a photo of the three boys and the thought, suddenly, pops in my head, "Someone is missing." I try to shake it off but how often can you honestly do that?

DH has been very receptive to the idea completing another China SN adoption. He hasn't been pushy, but I also wouldn't label myself as "the reluctant spouse." We are just trying to talk through all the options.

There are so many reasons we shouldn't adopt from China. All the reasons boil down to this: it's hard.  But because something is hard doesn't mean that we shouldn't do it. I was going back and forth.

On the one hand, I am concerned about parenting a child with attachment issues and orphanage related diagnoses (R.A.D.. . ) But on the other hand having another child is what is right for our family. All put together, China SN seems to be the best route for us. 

There is also an entire component that I haven't talked about, that is; what is the Lord's plan for our family? DH and I have really spent some time praying, contemplating and searching out what is right for our family. This is not something to be taken lightly. We have both come to feel that China SN is the right path forward.

It is funny, because I thought I would feel weighed down by the decision (You know, "Not another dossier." *sigh*)

The choice however has filled me with excitement. Wow! We are going to have a daughter. I am thinking about names and find myself looking at girls' clothes and dolls. Sure, we have paperwork to do. . . but I am a veteran and I could do it all in my sleep. . .  in triplicate.  Bring. it. on. I love a check list.

So, what does our timeline look like? It seems 18 months is realistic.  This is how it breaks down:

Homestudy complete by the end of Feb. 2013 (It has been on ice since Aug. so we already have some stuff done)
I-800 submitted when homestudy is done: March 2013
I-800 approval:  June 2013 (it is taking about 90 days)
Dossier to China: June-July 2013
Log-in-date issued: August 2013 (It takes about 4-6 weeks)
Then we are ready for a match: referral will take 1-4 months, Sept.-Dec. 2013
After referral it is 8 months before we can travel: Travel will be late spring to late summer  2014

Again, these are just targeted times, it could be faster (HA HA HA) or slower (as always).

We are requesting a girl. I felt a little guilty about requesting a gender. We have never requested a gender, but it is pretty common knowledge that  if you don't request a girl you get boy. (Hence, we have 3 wonderful boys.) There are more parents who request girls, so it makes the wait times longer too.

For age, we are requesting under 3 years old (24 months at time of referral then 8 months before we can travel). It will also make the wait times longer too. But we really feel that is the right age for our family dynamic.

We are open to a variety of special needs, so we will just have to wait and see what medical treatments she will need. We have an amazing pediatric orthopedic surgeon, so it would be great to utilize his expertise. But, again, we will just wait and see once we get her medical records. We have an amazing Children's hospital close by, I know they can address any of her medical needs.

So, off we go . . . again.  One final hurrah! It feels good to know our family will be complete soon.